Mom says bullied son not getting proper help
Julie Clarke says her son dreads going to school because he's being bullied, and she thinks the school isn't doing enough to solve the problem.
She said her son James is tired of other students calling him names and threatening him with physical violence almost every day at Harold Peterson Middle School.
Clarke said since the bullying began, James is having a hard time concentrating on his school work.
"He's getting sick to his stomach before he has to go to school," she said. "And his homework and everything - he's finding it very difficult."
Clarke said she understands that many schools have to deal with incidents of bullying, but she'd like to see officials do more to educate students about the dangers involved with these kinds of behaviours.
District 17 Supt. Marilyn Ball said the school has investigated these particular complaints of bullying. She said officials believe the matter has been blown out of proportion.
"Since April, the school has been working with several students about (these) alleged incidents," she said.
Different students have been assigned to work with a guidance counsellor on issues the student perceives as bullying.
When the school investigates, she said, it finds there are other circumstances, such as a misunderstanding.
"The school is working very, very hard to ensure that all children understand respectful behaviours and work on the social skills of those children who are having some challenges interpreting and understanding various social interactions."
Clarke said since bullying has been going on at the school for months, she's decided to learn about educational programs that are available locally.
The former military officer met with officials from the Military Family Resource Centre and the Red Cross.
She said both organizations seemed willing to offer their educational resources to the school.
Clarke said she provided the school with phone numbers and contact information for both organizations, but school officials believe things are under control.
Ball said that's because the school already has a number of programs that help educate students about the problems with bullying.
She said every school in the district is equipped with anti-bullying programs, there is a restorative justice program and the school's health education curriculum also deals
with bullying, appropriate forms of conduct, and understanding one's self.
"We have so many programs in place, in all of our schools, that sometimes there's an additional one that comes in, such as Red Cross, and we need to see if that is going to be replacing another one," she said.
Marilyn Noble, community-based adult educator and bullying expert, said the effectiveness of anti-bullying programs varies from school to school.
"A district may say it's got all sorts of stuff in place, but when they quote the health curriculum or the guidance curriculum, what actually gets implemented varies enormously," she said.
"It depends on the skills and interests of the teacher who's tasked with it and health and guidance don't get fitted into regular slots in the curriculum. They kind of have to steal time from other core subjects."
Noble said schools should teach students about the importance of being a good bystander since statistics show that about 50 per cent of all incidents of bullying end when a peer steps in.
Clarke said she's been in contact with provincial child and youth advocate Bernard Richard.
She said he's informed her that he may look into the matter further.
When The Daily Gleaner contacted Richard, he said he couldn't confirm or deny whether he received the complaint because of confidentiality concerns.
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Another problem with bullying is that everyone has a different perspective of inappropriate behaviour. In many cases, the problem is indeed with a "percieved" bully, but it can also be with the "perceived" victim. There are always two sides to every story; in this case, we've only heard from one side.
Regardless, life is full of "percieved" bullies. They exist in the workplace, in communities and in government (from common criminals to Revenue Canada).
While we definitely need to keep addressing the issue of bullying in schools, sometimes we also need to realize that a "perceived" victim might need to develop some skills to cope with the realities of everyday life as well.