Mom says bullied son not getting proper help

Published Monday May 12th, 2008
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Julie Clarke says her son dreads going to school because he's being bullied, and she thinks the school isn't doing enough to solve the problem.

She said her son James is tired of other students calling him names and threatening him with physical violence almost every day at Harold Peterson Middle School.

Clarke said since the bullying began, James is having a hard time concentrating on his school work.

"He's getting sick to his stomach before he has to go to school," she said. "And his homework and everything - he's finding it very difficult."

Clarke said she understands that many schools have to deal with incidents of bullying, but she'd like to see officials do more to educate students about the dangers involved with these kinds of behaviours.

District 17 Supt. Marilyn Ball said the school has investigated these particular complaints of bullying. She said officials believe the matter has been blown out of proportion.

"Since April, the school has been working with several students about (these) alleged incidents," she said.

Different students have been assigned to work with a guidance counsellor on issues the student perceives as bullying.

When the school investigates, she said, it finds there are other circumstances, such as a misunderstanding.

"The school is working very, very hard to ensure that all children understand respectful behaviours and work on the social skills of those children who are having some challenges interpreting and understanding various social interactions."

Clarke said since bullying has been going on at the school for months, she's decided to learn about educational programs that are available locally.

The former military officer met with officials from the Military Family Resource Centre and the Red Cross.

She said both organizations seemed willing to offer their educational resources to the school.

Clarke said she provided the school with phone numbers and contact information for both organizations, but school officials believe things are under control.

Ball said that's because the school already has a number of programs that help educate students about the problems with bullying.

She said every school in the district is equipped with anti-bullying programs, there is a restorative justice program and the school's health education curriculum also deals

with bullying, appropriate forms of conduct, and understanding one's self.

"We have so many programs in place, in all of our schools, that sometimes there's an additional one that comes in, such as Red Cross, and we need to see if that is going to be replacing another one," she said.

Marilyn Noble, community-based adult educator and bullying expert, said the effectiveness of anti-bullying programs varies from school to school.

"A district may say it's got all sorts of stuff in place, but when they quote the health curriculum or the guidance curriculum, what actually gets implemented varies enormously," she said.

"It depends on the skills and interests of the teacher who's tasked with it and health and guidance don't get fitted into regular slots in the curriculum. They kind of have to steal time from other core subjects."

Noble said schools should teach students about the importance of being a good bystander since statistics show that about 50 per cent of all incidents of bullying end when a peer steps in.

Clarke said she's been in contact with provincial child and youth advocate Bernard Richard.

She said he's informed her that he may look into the matter further.

When The Daily Gleaner contacted Richard, he said he couldn't confirm or deny whether he received the complaint because of confidentiality concerns.

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Comments (24)

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Both my sons have experienced the same thing,it's a uphill battle with the school to get this addressed.The schools don't have a solid policy on bullying.A clear policy should be drawn up & followed,our children have the right to be in a safe environment.These Bullies should be warned,then suspended if it continues,the bullies parents will complain but they should have to deal with it.
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Anonymous Reader on 12/05/08, 9:11:13 AM ADT
There should be one warning... then suspension, and the parents... well they should either deal with the situation, deal with their child or put up with their child at home. Enough foolishness. The schools need to protect the kids.
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Anonymous Reader on 12/05/08, 10:08:59 AM ADT
I have been out of that school district since 1973 but still remember, almost daily the bullying I endured. From Parker Memorial, to North Minto Junior High, to MMHS....in every school. You can create all the "anti bullying programs" you like and it will not erase the damage those "undisceplained" perpetrators have caused. Until you have actually been there, you cannot (no matter how much you say you can) imagine the feeling of being harrassed, beaten, chased.....with no assistance to be found.
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D H, Chipman on 12/05/08, 11:31:11 AM ADT
can people not teach their children to stand up for themselves. there isn't gonna be a teacher peeking around every corner. Just a thought.
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Anonymous Reader on 12/05/08, 11:43:12 AM ADT
Time to bring the good ole strap back and teach some kids a lesson
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Anonymous Reader on 12/05/08, 12:09:03 PM ADT
I cannot believe some one would say for the person to defend themselves. That is how the bullies are getting away with it, pig-headed people like Anon 11:43!
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Anonymous Reader on 12/05/08, 3:29:40 PM ADT
Anon 11:43 is another example of someone who thinks they're an expert in education just because they've gone to school. Then again in this case it musn't have been for too long.
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Anonymous Reader on 12/05/08, 5:43:26 PM ADT
The only cure for such small minded people is to remove the privilege of education form then and have them go through live being the neanderthals they truly are. What can you expect from someone who's father is probably also his brother.
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Anonymous Reader on 12/05/08, 6:22:30 PM ADT
"remove the privilege of education from them"...sorry
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Anonymous Reader on 12/05/08, 6:28:52 PM ADT
One of the problems with a bully is that he/she is smart. The don't pull their stunts in front of anyone who will catch them. When confronted by an authority figure, a bully often has a very good story to avoid taking ownership of behaviour.

Another problem with bullying is that everyone has a different perspective of inappropriate behaviour. In many cases, the problem is indeed with a "percieved" bully, but it can also be with the "perceived" victim. There are always two sides to every story; in this case, we've only heard from one side.

Regardless, life is full of "percieved" bullies. They exist in the workplace, in communities and in government (from common criminals to Revenue Canada).

While we definitely need to keep addressing the issue of bullying in schools, sometimes we also need to realize that a "perceived" victim might need to develop some skills to cope with the realities of everyday life as well.
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Anonymous Reader on 12/05/08, 8:21:19 PM ADT
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